Ask anyone who attended the inaugural Rothbury Music Festival and they will all say the same thing; it was a life changing experience.
I'm not too sure if I'm going to be able to conjure the words and metaphors needed to tell of what I learned and figured out while I was in Rothbury.
There has been a new peace created within me toward myself and others in this world, a new hope has been embedded in me towards society and this country, an open mind antagonizes me if ever it starts closing and becoming judgmental, a new love has formed for everything. My world is seen through new, better eyes now.
Look at me now and I appear to be what most would classify as somewhat of a hippie. That's fine with me! :) I am who I am now, and thanks to that weekend I no longer feel like I need to change my mindset or actions depending on the group of friends I choose to hang out with. I found the peace within me that has finally settled any doubt in my mind as to who I am as a person. I am a great person and it makes me smile that those are no longer just my words. Since I have been home I have been told at least five or six times, all of which constituting many others, that pretty much everyone likes me for who I am. I may be wrong but I like to think that it sprouts from the vibe of confidence I've gained in the journey leading up to my self discovery. However you want to put it is fine with me, I just love the way I no longer question my thoughts or actions. I know they are causing no harm to anyone so they are nothing to be ashamed of or worth doubting. People who were there know what I'm saying and know others have accepted us all too.
Rothbury was a great escape from all the complaints and uproars about the troubles and problems in this country's economy, society, and politics. After experiencing this past weekend, there is absolutely no doubt that this is the greatest country on earth. Over the past 232 years we have gradually lost the values our fore fathers laid down as the foundation of this country. Rothbury was a great resurgence for the belief that this is actually a country founded for the people and citizens that live within it.
Authority figures have earned my respect again. They have proven to me that they are here for the protection and overall well being of our society and those who live in it. We were free in Rothbury in almost every way. What you want me to be talking about is completely up to you; I know you'll probably be right no matter what you choose. All it took was a somewhat vigorous search upon entry to look for weapons to keep everyone safe. The fact that authority figures let, what I'm now going to call the 'Citizens of Rothbury', do anything the wanted was such an ingenious way to keep the peace.
If you're not causing any harm to those around you and have no one to oppose and create rebellion to your actions how can any violence be created? If no one is telling you that what you're thinking or doing is wrong then you're not going to create any negative or revolting thoughts and actions to try and make your way heard, been seen, or accepted. You know you're at peace with yourself and aren't going to do anything stupid or harmful and thats all the matters because everyone else there is in the same mindset.
Point is, by letting the citizens of Rothbury do whatever they please within a controlled, sustained environment nothing is going to get out of hand. Ever. The citizens of Rothbury want just as much as the rest of the world not to have any uproar or violence. Everyone stands up for what they believe in at some point in time. Too many together can create a mob mentality to try and force their mindset upon others, but since everyone knew that we were all okay with each others thoughts and actions, and because we knew authority was alright with it too, there was never any need to be anything other than at peace with everyone and yourself.
Even though the definition of an 'Epiphany' is a moment of clarity in which God speaks to you and I lack any better words, and epiphany is exactly what I had. My mind is open and free to listen to so many new types of music, listen to different people's points of view, and accept almost anyone that doesn't cause any harm. Nor am I going to care what people think about my thoughts and actions. I know they are all acceptable and once again I know that none of them are going to cause anyone else any harm. I'm here to smile and spread the joy of inner peace and the power of happiness.
I'm going to sing the songs I know, dance to the music that moves me, say the thoughts that make sense to me or make me laugh :), and not wear a shirt while I'm in the sun!
I can really say that this weekend changed me. I'm happier with who I am and my appearance. I have a new found desires to take care of my body by working out and eating a little better (though so far I'm better at the former) and constantly keeping myself in a good mood. Smiles are contagious and provoke positive thoughts. Positive thoughts are believed by millions to be the secret to a happy life. It's called the 'Law of Attraction.' And while I can't say I completely agree with that 'Law' being 'The Secret' to life, that doesn't mean I'm going to do anything but try and keep a smile on myself and those around me.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
There is a lot of money to be made in advertising and its pretty easy too
We've all seen or heard commercials claiming that '4 out of 5 dentists recommend this tooth paste' or that '9 out of 10 women saw a more natural looking tan!'
Well by golly then it must be a good damn product if 80% of the dentists out there would use it! I have to have it!!
At the surface it probably seems as though its a pretty solid statistic. You know, the company did their research and is now promoting with the facts the found. Its a method used time and time again.
But here's another way to look at it:
They are lying, without actually lying. Companies promote a product in a way to make us assume that 4 out of 5 is 80%. But, they never say that. Why?
Let's pretend to take our own survey. We survey 100 people about a certain, oh lets go with, juice. Out of the 100, we'll pretend that 20 would buy that over anything else. Pretty sketchy results. A.k.a rather poor product.
But, in those 20 people who liked the juice, lets say 8 of them came in a row with the next 2 not liking it. Well, let's recap the last 10 people then. Oh my! 8 out of 10 would buy the juice over anything else!!
So, even though really 20% of the people liked it, out of a selected 10, 8 of them did. And that is not a lie, making it seem as though 80% of people like it. The more people you survey the higher chance of a probability that you get a high number of positive marks in a row and the better your product looks.
How much a year can I make figure easy stuff like this out? And to think that people need to have degrees in the business world.
Leave your feedback
Tucker
Well by golly then it must be a good damn product if 80% of the dentists out there would use it! I have to have it!!
At the surface it probably seems as though its a pretty solid statistic. You know, the company did their research and is now promoting with the facts the found. Its a method used time and time again.
But here's another way to look at it:
They are lying, without actually lying. Companies promote a product in a way to make us assume that 4 out of 5 is 80%. But, they never say that. Why?
Let's pretend to take our own survey. We survey 100 people about a certain, oh lets go with, juice. Out of the 100, we'll pretend that 20 would buy that over anything else. Pretty sketchy results. A.k.a rather poor product.
But, in those 20 people who liked the juice, lets say 8 of them came in a row with the next 2 not liking it. Well, let's recap the last 10 people then. Oh my! 8 out of 10 would buy the juice over anything else!!
So, even though really 20% of the people liked it, out of a selected 10, 8 of them did. And that is not a lie, making it seem as though 80% of people like it. The more people you survey the higher chance of a probability that you get a high number of positive marks in a row and the better your product looks.
How much a year can I make figure easy stuff like this out? And to think that people need to have degrees in the business world.
Leave your feedback
Tucker
With all the outrage and talk about the current and rising gas prices, I figured I'd add my two cents to society.
It seems as though there is really only one question to come about of all this; 'What do we do about about both the current and rising gas prices?' (sorry about the redundancy)
There are seemingly an endless amount of options to take in action in order to counter gas prices right now. I've heard everything from the logical Alternative Fuel concepts to trying to create a new war to 'scare countries into lower gas prices'. We obviously won't go into the latter.
What I haven't heard though (not to say I'm the first nor last to think of this) is an idea that involves our government actually stepping in and helping. Yeah, I've heard how the government should start to enforce higher standards in the automotive industry and, for the most part, they have. Companies are required by law to have every car that is manufactured have at least 35 mpg (highway). Sounds great, if they didn't have until 2010 to do so.
No, what I'm thinking is more of a substantial act than anything I've heard of (Once again, I say 'I've' since this idea may already be floating around and some of you may have already heard this).
The bottom line is that the way everything is going right now, its inevitable that gas prices will continue to rise at an exponential rate. What we need is an answer; and here is mine.
I'll say it now to get it out of the way, I'm thinking of this suggestion as I write this, so please, don't judge or critic me too hard, for I know as well as many that there are going to be many loopholes in this proposal. I just hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
Whether we, or the government, realizes it right now or not isn't important, but the truth is that Oil companies have a monopoly; over not only oil, but most of society as a whole (Wow, what a run-on sentence). Exxon Mobil profited $11.6 billion in the first quarter of last year alone. That's a mind blowing $1, 300 a second. They booked over $39 billion total for last year. That's a third of the what Bill has made in his life with the Microsoft Empire in just one year. I think you're starting to see my point. The kind of money they are profiting is more than anyone can know what to do with.
Question: "Whats your advice to the average American who is hurting now, facing the prospect of a $4 gallon of gas?"
"Wait, what did you just say? You're predicting $4 a gallon of gasoline? I hadn't heard that."
-Our fearless leader, President Bush at a press conference Feb. 28, 2008.
It's time to wake up congress, you're letting the oil companies determine how many of your citizens run their lives.
Kudos, however, to the Middle Eastern oil producers who seemed to have taken an economics lesson about supply and demand. It's about friggen time you realize that you can jack up the price on a product that is inelastic!
Here's where my thoughts came in. Control the monopoly that oil companies have over the average American.
You cannot argue that we are spending more money on gas than every before (obviously, Tuck). Nor, can you argue that the rising in gas prices is due to inflation. Our inflation rate right now is at just under 4%. Pretty standard numbers for a solid overall economy. Until, of course, you throw in the fact that gas has risen 25% in just a year! It's bullshit to me. Simply put, for our countries sake, this cannot continue.
Step up to the plate congress. I feel that you need to start buying oil for your country. Maybe not 100% of it, but enough to help stabilize the economy. Gas prices are going to continue to rise so long as we keep on doing what were doing on the subject; nothing. We will soon be spending all of our money on gas and oil (I know I already spend about 70% of my paychecks on gas alone). Go ahead and tell me, congress (or anyone if this doesn't turn out to be rhetorical), how are we supposed to play our role in society and stimulate the economy by purchasing goods and services if all of our income goes to gas and oil?
How can we allow a handful of companies to rep the benefits of our struggle to pay simple bills day in and day out? It'd be different if it were just a few billion dollars in profit, that I could handle. But like I said earlier, they are truly making more money off us than anyone would know what to do with.
I feel that the government needs to step in and stop allowing this. Either start buying portions of oil instead of the oil companies or put a cap on the gas prices. I don't care how much the country is already in debt, in the long run it can only help with that too. If we as Americans have more money to spend on goods and services other than gas, how can that not help stimulate the economy and work towards relieving our national debt?
Who cares if you cut a profit from almost $40 billion to say $10-15? I won't. And I'll bet a gallon of gas that the majority of the population feels the same way. I don't give a rats ass if oil companies make $30 billion less to save me a buck or two at the pump. They are still going to make more money than 99.99% of the population can even imagine. Put me as CEO of Exxon, I'll gladly still walk away with billions of dollars in profit each year.
The last time gas was under a dollar was March 15, 1999 when it was $.98 a gallon. Some people would call it a coincidence that Exxon and Mobil merged together that same year and have never seen prices drop. I'd have to agree, to disagree.
Personally, I don't care how many of those pile of wrinkles in congress make money off the oil companies in the stock market; something needs to be done.
The last time I checked this was a country founded on the principals of equality. Oil companies are not abiding by this, rather they are exploiting their weaker country men.
"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our prosperity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."
uh huh.....
I live in this country that is built 'of the people, by the people, and for the people,' and it is about god damn time that 'the people' in office do something to remind all of us that this is still the greatest on earth and that they truly have the citizens overall well being in mind.
Please leave any feedback, comments, or thoughts you have! I'd love to further discuss this with anyone.
Tucker
It seems as though there is really only one question to come about of all this; 'What do we do about about both the current and rising gas prices?' (sorry about the redundancy)
There are seemingly an endless amount of options to take in action in order to counter gas prices right now. I've heard everything from the logical Alternative Fuel concepts to trying to create a new war to 'scare countries into lower gas prices'. We obviously won't go into the latter.
What I haven't heard though (not to say I'm the first nor last to think of this) is an idea that involves our government actually stepping in and helping. Yeah, I've heard how the government should start to enforce higher standards in the automotive industry and, for the most part, they have. Companies are required by law to have every car that is manufactured have at least 35 mpg (highway). Sounds great, if they didn't have until 2010 to do so.
No, what I'm thinking is more of a substantial act than anything I've heard of (Once again, I say 'I've' since this idea may already be floating around and some of you may have already heard this).
The bottom line is that the way everything is going right now, its inevitable that gas prices will continue to rise at an exponential rate. What we need is an answer; and here is mine.
I'll say it now to get it out of the way, I'm thinking of this suggestion as I write this, so please, don't judge or critic me too hard, for I know as well as many that there are going to be many loopholes in this proposal. I just hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
Whether we, or the government, realizes it right now or not isn't important, but the truth is that Oil companies have a monopoly; over not only oil, but most of society as a whole (Wow, what a run-on sentence). Exxon Mobil profited $11.6 billion in the first quarter of last year alone. That's a mind blowing $1, 300 a second. They booked over $39 billion total for last year. That's a third of the what Bill has made in his life with the Microsoft Empire in just one year. I think you're starting to see my point. The kind of money they are profiting is more than anyone can know what to do with.
Question: "Whats your advice to the average American who is hurting now, facing the prospect of a $4 gallon of gas?"
"Wait, what did you just say? You're predicting $4 a gallon of gasoline? I hadn't heard that."
-Our fearless leader, President Bush at a press conference Feb. 28, 2008.
It's time to wake up congress, you're letting the oil companies determine how many of your citizens run their lives.
Kudos, however, to the Middle Eastern oil producers who seemed to have taken an economics lesson about supply and demand. It's about friggen time you realize that you can jack up the price on a product that is inelastic!
Here's where my thoughts came in. Control the monopoly that oil companies have over the average American.
You cannot argue that we are spending more money on gas than every before (obviously, Tuck). Nor, can you argue that the rising in gas prices is due to inflation. Our inflation rate right now is at just under 4%. Pretty standard numbers for a solid overall economy. Until, of course, you throw in the fact that gas has risen 25% in just a year! It's bullshit to me. Simply put, for our countries sake, this cannot continue.
Step up to the plate congress. I feel that you need to start buying oil for your country. Maybe not 100% of it, but enough to help stabilize the economy. Gas prices are going to continue to rise so long as we keep on doing what were doing on the subject; nothing. We will soon be spending all of our money on gas and oil (I know I already spend about 70% of my paychecks on gas alone). Go ahead and tell me, congress (or anyone if this doesn't turn out to be rhetorical), how are we supposed to play our role in society and stimulate the economy by purchasing goods and services if all of our income goes to gas and oil?
How can we allow a handful of companies to rep the benefits of our struggle to pay simple bills day in and day out? It'd be different if it were just a few billion dollars in profit, that I could handle. But like I said earlier, they are truly making more money off us than anyone would know what to do with.
I feel that the government needs to step in and stop allowing this. Either start buying portions of oil instead of the oil companies or put a cap on the gas prices. I don't care how much the country is already in debt, in the long run it can only help with that too. If we as Americans have more money to spend on goods and services other than gas, how can that not help stimulate the economy and work towards relieving our national debt?
Who cares if you cut a profit from almost $40 billion to say $10-15? I won't. And I'll bet a gallon of gas that the majority of the population feels the same way. I don't give a rats ass if oil companies make $30 billion less to save me a buck or two at the pump. They are still going to make more money than 99.99% of the population can even imagine. Put me as CEO of Exxon, I'll gladly still walk away with billions of dollars in profit each year.
The last time gas was under a dollar was March 15, 1999 when it was $.98 a gallon. Some people would call it a coincidence that Exxon and Mobil merged together that same year and have never seen prices drop. I'd have to agree, to disagree.
Personally, I don't care how many of those pile of wrinkles in congress make money off the oil companies in the stock market; something needs to be done.
The last time I checked this was a country founded on the principals of equality. Oil companies are not abiding by this, rather they are exploiting their weaker country men.
"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our prosperity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."
uh huh.....
I live in this country that is built 'of the people, by the people, and for the people,' and it is about god damn time that 'the people' in office do something to remind all of us that this is still the greatest on earth and that they truly have the citizens overall well being in mind.
Please leave any feedback, comments, or thoughts you have! I'd love to further discuss this with anyone.
Tucker
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Yes. Yes, it HAS been a while...
Where to start...
Well...
My friend Brittany from Jacksonville, FL came and visited me for a short 5 days. It was a good time. We got out and saw a lot of animals and visited a lot of galleries and the Wildlife Museum. It was nice having some company again. I wish people could come out and visit more often.
It's getting closer and closer to leaving time. I'm getting really excited to go and set forth on this journey of mine.
I even bought a new car for the occasion!
That's my new baby! A 2001 Pontiac Aztek. 128,000 miles, first car I've owned that has AC that actually works. Power everything. Very nice! I love it. I go back to Salt Lake on Monday to pick it up.
But in unrelated news..... ah I don't know.. I'm drawing a blank.
I've been doing really well lately. Like I said, I'm getting really excited to go on this road trip. It should be a really good time visiting friends and new places.
I'm not sure if anything else worth noting has been going on. I guess I'd remember it if that were the case.
Keep it real my homies.
T-Dogg
Where to start...
Well...
My friend Brittany from Jacksonville, FL came and visited me for a short 5 days. It was a good time. We got out and saw a lot of animals and visited a lot of galleries and the Wildlife Museum. It was nice having some company again. I wish people could come out and visit more often.
It's getting closer and closer to leaving time. I'm getting really excited to go and set forth on this journey of mine.
I even bought a new car for the occasion!
That's my new baby! A 2001 Pontiac Aztek. 128,000 miles, first car I've owned that has AC that actually works. Power everything. Very nice! I love it. I go back to Salt Lake on Monday to pick it up.But in unrelated news..... ah I don't know.. I'm drawing a blank.
I've been doing really well lately. Like I said, I'm getting really excited to go on this road trip. It should be a really good time visiting friends and new places.
I'm not sure if anything else worth noting has been going on. I guess I'd remember it if that were the case.
Keep it real my homies.
T-Dogg
Sunday, January 20, 2008
I'm sure I could go talk to many elders and they would all say the same thing.
They would all tell me that I am too young to be able to find myself and my way in life.
But, I still feel that it is time to start trying.
I'm not expecting it to just jump out and hit me in the face.
But I'm ready to find a place where I fit in.
A place where people aren't going to take what I do for them for granted.
A place where people actually want me to be.
The only problem is that I have no idea where to start.
They would all tell me that I am too young to be able to find myself and my way in life.
But, I still feel that it is time to start trying.
I'm not expecting it to just jump out and hit me in the face.
But I'm ready to find a place where I fit in.
A place where people aren't going to take what I do for them for granted.
A place where people actually want me to be.
The only problem is that I have no idea where to start.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
A Repost from Dec.
From my ashes I will rise.
Rise to become more powerful than before.
I can take the adversity.
I can take the challenges.
I will feel destroyed at times.
But I know the secret.
The secret of life, strength.
I am who I am.
Feel what I feel.
Do what I do.
You can slow me down,
But never stop me.
For I always rise,
Rise with more power and strength.
With that I am invincible.
I will be remembered.
I will be the greatest...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
And as the trail wound closer to home, they decided without words to slow down so the walk would take longer. There was still so much to talk about, but so little time in the world to do so. Neither wanted to go home, and they ended up trailing off to the gazebo to sit with each other and talk longer. Maybe ten yards from this destination, did it start to rain. And not just sprinkle a few drops here and there, but really rain. It was as though God himself was trying to rinse the world of the impurities that congregated.
The quick dart the soon followed the first sheets of rain, put the two in each other arms. And they sat in the gazebo, his arm around her and her head resting on his shoulder as though that’s where it was molded to belong. For once, they were silent. The only sound was that of the rain drops dancing ferociously on the rooftops as if they were taking cues from the two's hearts that we racing feverishly underneath the calm surface of their loving bodies.
Spontaneity kicked in and without a word she knew that he wanted to play in the rain. They ran out like children and started dancing in the rain, kicking up every puddle that stood in their way. She darted into the trees, grabbing one after another with outstretched arms, letting the momentum that was her fun glide her in circles around every tree. Right hand, left hand. He stopped and stared and the beauty in that was playing in the trees. So pure, so innocent, so free. She was almost in heaven. Twirling throughout the trees as though it was her kingdom.
Quietly he begin to pursue her. Making sure she couldn't see him coming. A full circle with a tree in her right hand, he knew that one from the left was next. And he stepped next to the tree he knew she would grab. And half way around her turn she met and stopped in her tracks by the warmth of his lips on hers.
And there they stood, lost in time, the rain, but more importantly, each other. Transfixed by the warm drops of rain as they stood exchanging warm, soft, moist kisses that were the only thing left to be said. No words could sum up what they had felt between each other. And all that was left was to let sheer emotion get the best of them. Thus, the start of something beautiful was created in a time when the world was being cleansed, creating something pure beyond our perspectives.
Something that will last forever...
The quick dart the soon followed the first sheets of rain, put the two in each other arms. And they sat in the gazebo, his arm around her and her head resting on his shoulder as though that’s where it was molded to belong. For once, they were silent. The only sound was that of the rain drops dancing ferociously on the rooftops as if they were taking cues from the two's hearts that we racing feverishly underneath the calm surface of their loving bodies.
Spontaneity kicked in and without a word she knew that he wanted to play in the rain. They ran out like children and started dancing in the rain, kicking up every puddle that stood in their way. She darted into the trees, grabbing one after another with outstretched arms, letting the momentum that was her fun glide her in circles around every tree. Right hand, left hand. He stopped and stared and the beauty in that was playing in the trees. So pure, so innocent, so free. She was almost in heaven. Twirling throughout the trees as though it was her kingdom.
Quietly he begin to pursue her. Making sure she couldn't see him coming. A full circle with a tree in her right hand, he knew that one from the left was next. And he stepped next to the tree he knew she would grab. And half way around her turn she met and stopped in her tracks by the warmth of his lips on hers.
And there they stood, lost in time, the rain, but more importantly, each other. Transfixed by the warm drops of rain as they stood exchanging warm, soft, moist kisses that were the only thing left to be said. No words could sum up what they had felt between each other. And all that was left was to let sheer emotion get the best of them. Thus, the start of something beautiful was created in a time when the world was being cleansed, creating something pure beyond our perspectives.
Something that will last forever...
Saturday, January 12, 2008
With everything I've ever done
I'd give it all to everyone
For one more day
Another night I'm waking through
Another door I walk into I can't break
And it's a winding road
And it's a long way home
So don't wait
For someone to tell you it's too late
Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow
So I say let's make the best of tonight
Here comes the rest of our lives
I count the steps
The distance to
The time when it was me and you
It's so far gone
Another face,
Another friend,
Another place,
Another end,
But I'll hang on
And it's a winding road
And it's a long way home
So don't wait
For someone to tell you it's too late
Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow
So I say let's make the best of tonight
Yeah, let's make the best of tonight
Here comes the rest of our lives
Rest of our lives
And it's a winding road
It's a long way home
So don't wait
For someone to tell you it's too late
Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow
So I say let's make the best of it
Don't wait
Cause no one can tell you it's too late
Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow
So I say let's make the best of tonight
Yeah, let's make the best of tonight
We'll make the best of tonight
Here comes the rest of our lives
I'd give it all to everyone
For one more day
Another night I'm waking through
Another door I walk into I can't break
And it's a winding road
And it's a long way home
So don't wait
For someone to tell you it's too late
Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow
So I say let's make the best of tonight
Here comes the rest of our lives
I count the steps
The distance to
The time when it was me and you
It's so far gone
Another face,
Another friend,
Another place,
Another end,
But I'll hang on
And it's a winding road
And it's a long way home
So don't wait
For someone to tell you it's too late
Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow
So I say let's make the best of tonight
Yeah, let's make the best of tonight
Here comes the rest of our lives
Rest of our lives
And it's a winding road
It's a long way home
So don't wait
For someone to tell you it's too late
Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow
So I say let's make the best of it
Don't wait
Cause no one can tell you it's too late
Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow
So I say let's make the best of tonight
Yeah, let's make the best of tonight
We'll make the best of tonight
Here comes the rest of our lives
Friday, January 11, 2008
Sometimes I think I pass you walking on the street and i believe it
Sometimes I think I see you looking back at me.. now i see it
everything you feel
saying what is real
Don't go away
say you'll stay until the morning light
Don't fade away into gray
standing in the light
I lie awake at night and never sleep to watch you breathing
I tried to smile and laugh as you turned away but I was bleeding
Everything I feel
I make believe is real
Don't go away
say you'll stay until the morning light
Don't fade away into gray
standing in the light
sometimes I think I pass you walking on the street and I believe it
sometimes I think I see you looking back at me.. now I see it
Don't go away
say you'll stay until the morning light
and Don't fade away into gray
standing in the light
Don't go awaysay you'll stay until the morning light
and Don't fade away into gray
standing in the light...
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Yeah, I'm doing okay.
I'm getting by.
I'm having fun and meeting new people.
I'm eating, working out, and saving money.
I'm smiling and laughing.
I'm writing a lot and finding myself.
I'm getting really excited about the upcoming month :)
And the rest of my future for that matter.
I've found someone that right now that makes me smile.
Makes me laugh.
Makes me happy.
But she's too far away.
And as of now, I'm still alone.
I'm learning new things.
I'm making people smile again.
I'm doing things for other people.
I'm making a name for myself.
I'm feeling attractive again.
I'm liking myself again.
But the bottom line is, I miss you and my best friend.
And always will...
I always will...
I'm getting by.
I'm having fun and meeting new people.
I'm eating, working out, and saving money.
I'm smiling and laughing.
I'm writing a lot and finding myself.
I'm getting really excited about the upcoming month :)
And the rest of my future for that matter.
I've found someone that right now that makes me smile.
Makes me laugh.
Makes me happy.
But she's too far away.
And as of now, I'm still alone.
I'm learning new things.
I'm making people smile again.
I'm doing things for other people.
I'm making a name for myself.
I'm feeling attractive again.
I'm liking myself again.
But the bottom line is, I miss you and my best friend.
And always will...
I always will...
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Re: To be a kid again...(three posts down)/ Part Three..
Read the previous three posts or so, starting with the one titled "To be a kid again..." before you read this...
Re reading this post, I think I finally put a finger on what the point to it was.
This little boy went out of his way to give me a piece of garbage really. But in his eyes it was a masterpiece. Thus, it was in my mind too.
Point is, if none of us really grew up at heart and still drew pictures for other people and went out of our way to make another person smile but just once a day, what kind of world would that create? (Quite the run-on huh Britt?)
Throw out all of the fears in everyday life that the media has created.
If you sit down and think about the effect that one smile can do, its almost mind boggling.
If one boy went out of his way to draw pictures on a place mat for a complete stranger, just to give him something to show that they have the same name, think about the possibilities that grown adults would be able to conceive.
Paying for someones dry cleaning, or stopping to say Hi to one person you see everyday but never talk to.
This past Christmas, one man, ONE, bought the coffee of the person behind him at a starbucks and set off a chain reaction of the next 350 people doing the same gesture. ONE person, created a dinner time story that brightened the day of not only the direct 350 people, but everyone person connected to one of the 350 who got a free cup of coffee.
The real point is, that if one person sets off the reaction, ultimately millions of people will unknowingly produce and spread smiles to those around them.
If someone went out of their way to make you smile, it will be with you the rest of the day. And since it's always with you, you may very well be smiling the rest of the day because of it. If you are smiling you are automatically giving the people around you, not only a reason but, the permission to do the same. So, unknowingly, you have liberated the souls of others who will unknowingly spread the same seed to others. It's an unstoppable, uncontrollable, unexplainable phenomenon
Make someone smile today..
Re reading this post, I think I finally put a finger on what the point to it was.
This little boy went out of his way to give me a piece of garbage really. But in his eyes it was a masterpiece. Thus, it was in my mind too.
Point is, if none of us really grew up at heart and still drew pictures for other people and went out of our way to make another person smile but just once a day, what kind of world would that create? (Quite the run-on huh Britt?)
Throw out all of the fears in everyday life that the media has created.
If you sit down and think about the effect that one smile can do, its almost mind boggling.
If one boy went out of his way to draw pictures on a place mat for a complete stranger, just to give him something to show that they have the same name, think about the possibilities that grown adults would be able to conceive.
Paying for someones dry cleaning, or stopping to say Hi to one person you see everyday but never talk to.
This past Christmas, one man, ONE, bought the coffee of the person behind him at a starbucks and set off a chain reaction of the next 350 people doing the same gesture. ONE person, created a dinner time story that brightened the day of not only the direct 350 people, but everyone person connected to one of the 350 who got a free cup of coffee.
The real point is, that if one person sets off the reaction, ultimately millions of people will unknowingly produce and spread smiles to those around them.
If someone went out of their way to make you smile, it will be with you the rest of the day. And since it's always with you, you may very well be smiling the rest of the day because of it. If you are smiling you are automatically giving the people around you, not only a reason but, the permission to do the same. So, unknowingly, you have liberated the souls of others who will unknowingly spread the same seed to others. It's an unstoppable, uncontrollable, unexplainable phenomenon
Make someone smile today..
Part two...
Don't read part two until you've read part one...
Does the beauty in life vanish when our worlds and hearts are shattered?
Many people would agree so.
So many of us lose the motivation to seek out the beauty in life when we’ve lost.
So many of us lose the courage to get up in the morning and go on with our lives.
No courage to put ourselves in situations to be able to see what else there is in the world.
We fail to force ourselves to move on and see a sunset or a sunrise.
We fail to open the windows and hear the songs of the morning birds.
Why though?
Why do we stop seeing the beauty in life?
Is it because it reminds of us of what we’ve had and lost?
What we had, we have.
What we were, we are.
Everything in our past is what made each of us who are we today.
Why don’t we listen to the songs and get lost in the stars and not think about a hurtful past?
But instead, why don’t we think about how everything will look in the future?
Day dream about what could happen under the stars or what amazing sunsets you could share with somebody.
Instead of forever remembering the hurt in loss that every day beauties remind us of, we need to look back and thank those who hurt us for making us the people we are today.
In reality, nothing is more important than today.
We aren’t promised anything, not even the rest of today.
That’s why I hate making plans so long in the future.
I hate when people take things for granted and live everyday as though tomorrow will be the same.
It’s just as easy that there will not be a tomorrow than if there is a tomorrow for you.
If something makes you happy, don’t throw it away with the thought that it may one day not.
Work towards dreams and goals, but don’t make it everything in life, because it’s not.
If all we do is work towards our future then we pass up so many little things that we will one day regret not taking time to learn about.
Accidents happen.
We lose people.
Lose loved ones.
Lose them to cancer and accidents.
Heart attacks and diseases.
The list is endless.
Why do we take for granted what is in our life every day?
The sad thing is, we all do it.
Every one of us.
And really nothing is going to change that unless a tragic event happens to any particular person.
I know I’m guilty of this.
I’m lucky though that nothing really tragic has happened to me.
Or am I?
Maybe it would be better for me if something were to happen to me.
I rather it happen to me so I can put my life into perspective than losing a loved one.
Maybe because something horrific hasn’t happened to me I am unfortunate.
Ask anyone who has had something catastrophic happen to them, that it changed their life forever.
At first, probably for the worst.
But then it more than likely helped them realize what was really important in life.
And to know what is important in life is to have a gift.
We go through our entire life trying to figure out what is most important to us.
And it’s rarely before an old age, before death, that we begin to figure out what mattered most in life.
And by then its almost certainly too late to pass it down to younger loved ones.
Even if we get a chance to, the ones that haven’t figured it out yet will never lose the ignorance that is learning about life.
Throughout our entire lives, elders give us advice about what to do and where to go in life and what to hang on to.
But until we are in their shoes and at that rightful age, we never truly understand what our elders were trying to tell us.
So though we try to pass on advice or stories, the truth is, the younger generations will not grasp the helpfulness in them.
Ever.
Which is actually another phone part of life.
Though it can be frustrating for younger loved ones to not listen, it’s a phase of life we all have to go through.
Does the beauty in life vanish when our worlds and hearts are shattered?
Many people would agree so.
So many of us lose the motivation to seek out the beauty in life when we’ve lost.
So many of us lose the courage to get up in the morning and go on with our lives.
No courage to put ourselves in situations to be able to see what else there is in the world.
We fail to force ourselves to move on and see a sunset or a sunrise.
We fail to open the windows and hear the songs of the morning birds.
Why though?
Why do we stop seeing the beauty in life?
Is it because it reminds of us of what we’ve had and lost?
What we had, we have.
What we were, we are.
Everything in our past is what made each of us who are we today.
Why don’t we listen to the songs and get lost in the stars and not think about a hurtful past?
But instead, why don’t we think about how everything will look in the future?
Day dream about what could happen under the stars or what amazing sunsets you could share with somebody.
Instead of forever remembering the hurt in loss that every day beauties remind us of, we need to look back and thank those who hurt us for making us the people we are today.
In reality, nothing is more important than today.
We aren’t promised anything, not even the rest of today.
That’s why I hate making plans so long in the future.
I hate when people take things for granted and live everyday as though tomorrow will be the same.
It’s just as easy that there will not be a tomorrow than if there is a tomorrow for you.
If something makes you happy, don’t throw it away with the thought that it may one day not.
Work towards dreams and goals, but don’t make it everything in life, because it’s not.
If all we do is work towards our future then we pass up so many little things that we will one day regret not taking time to learn about.
Accidents happen.
We lose people.
Lose loved ones.
Lose them to cancer and accidents.
Heart attacks and diseases.
The list is endless.
Why do we take for granted what is in our life every day?
The sad thing is, we all do it.
Every one of us.
And really nothing is going to change that unless a tragic event happens to any particular person.
I know I’m guilty of this.
I’m lucky though that nothing really tragic has happened to me.
Or am I?
Maybe it would be better for me if something were to happen to me.
I rather it happen to me so I can put my life into perspective than losing a loved one.
Maybe because something horrific hasn’t happened to me I am unfortunate.
Ask anyone who has had something catastrophic happen to them, that it changed their life forever.
At first, probably for the worst.
But then it more than likely helped them realize what was really important in life.
And to know what is important in life is to have a gift.
We go through our entire life trying to figure out what is most important to us.
And it’s rarely before an old age, before death, that we begin to figure out what mattered most in life.
And by then its almost certainly too late to pass it down to younger loved ones.
Even if we get a chance to, the ones that haven’t figured it out yet will never lose the ignorance that is learning about life.
Throughout our entire lives, elders give us advice about what to do and where to go in life and what to hang on to.
But until we are in their shoes and at that rightful age, we never truly understand what our elders were trying to tell us.
So though we try to pass on advice or stories, the truth is, the younger generations will not grasp the helpfulness in them.
Ever.
Which is actually another phone part of life.
Though it can be frustrating for younger loved ones to not listen, it’s a phase of life we all have to go through.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Part one..
The blank paper stares back at me in mockery.
The few words that are scattered across the page
In what is a lame excuse for a thought,
Only add insult to injury.
Like it’s almost better to not have started writing.
No flow.
No rhythm.
No subject.
No body.
No purpose.
What quantity of thoughts my mind fabricates,
More than lacks in diversity.
You can’t write, Tucker.
You have no more Passion.
No Creativity.
No Words.
No Motivation.
No Will.
The words are laughing like a voice in a Haunted Halloween house.
Is that because I’m haunted?
Come to think of it, maybe.
Not maybe, yes.
I’m haunted every second of every day.
But, we all are.
Who doesn’t wake up in the morning or fall asleep at night thinking about some regret they’ve had in life?
I write these words in search of an answer.
But these are my words, and I have no answer.
So why am I writing to find one?
What is could possible stick out and give me an answer?
Hell, I don’t even know what answer I’m looking for.
Is there even an answer?
An answer to what though?
Love?
Loss?
Happiness?
Life?
Death?
No.
There can’t be.
If there is then it’s not your question to be answered, is it?
If I have a question that doesn’t have an answer, is that even a question?
What else would it be, Tucker?
I don’t know. Does anyone?
Probably not.
Or is that why we live life?
In search f those answers?
Maybe, but how do we know if we’ve found them if they don’t have an answer?
Or maybe they do have an answer.
But since, it’s not a universal answer, we have nothing to compare our findings to.
Someone told me that only consistent thing in life is change.
Why do we change though?
What makes us love, only to throw it away?
What makes us want to gain what we know we’ll lose?
And conversely, lose what we’ve gained so we can gain something new?
Why are we never contempt with filling our cups of life?
Is it the desire to better ourselves?
It has to be, Tucker.
But when do we know when we have all that we deserve?
We don’t. We can’t. Otherwise it’s like life has been put into our hands.
We would have no passion to get more than what we’re told.
No creativity to work around the adversity that life throws at us.
No motivation to better our current situation.
No will to better our lives.
Tucker, this whole this is stupid.
Why are you even writing this?
You told yourself that it’s not going to teach you anything.
So it can’t teach anyone else anything.
This entire thing is a mockery of poetry, Tucker
Stop this.
But never stop wondering.
There is so much to wonder about.
An infinite number, really.
Infinite isn’t a number though.
It’s an expression.
An expression to say that numbers are never ending.
But how else can we begin to fathom infinity if we didn’t give it a word.
We can’t imagine infinity. We have nothing to try and compare it to.
But by trying to put a label on something that doesn’t exist so that we can try to comprehend it, almost eliminates what was really there in the first place.
It isn’t as pure now.
By placing the word infinity for the fact that it lasts forever, we forget that it really does.
But nothing lasts forever, or so I’m told.
What makes love an exception?
You can ask anyone who is happily married that love lasts forever.
But, at the same time, experts in every field say that nothing lasts forever.
If love is the one thing that lasts forever and stands above all things,
Does that make it the answer?
Is love what drives our desire to better ourselves and those around us?
Is it love that makes us want to become more successful?
Is it love that can ease the pain of loss and death?
Is it the want to love and be loved in return that fuels our universe?
Do the sun, moon, and stars appear in rotation to give us motivation to try and compare what we are feeling to something in the universe?
Do birds sing the melodies that our hearts put forth when we are in love?
Or do we see the beauty in these everyday things because we are in love?
To be continued...
The few words that are scattered across the page
In what is a lame excuse for a thought,
Only add insult to injury.
Like it’s almost better to not have started writing.
No flow.
No rhythm.
No subject.
No body.
No purpose.
What quantity of thoughts my mind fabricates,
More than lacks in diversity.
You can’t write, Tucker.
You have no more Passion.
No Creativity.
No Words.
No Motivation.
No Will.
The words are laughing like a voice in a Haunted Halloween house.
Is that because I’m haunted?
Come to think of it, maybe.
Not maybe, yes.
I’m haunted every second of every day.
But, we all are.
Who doesn’t wake up in the morning or fall asleep at night thinking about some regret they’ve had in life?
I write these words in search of an answer.
But these are my words, and I have no answer.
So why am I writing to find one?
What is could possible stick out and give me an answer?
Hell, I don’t even know what answer I’m looking for.
Is there even an answer?
An answer to what though?
Love?
Loss?
Happiness?
Life?
Death?
No.
There can’t be.
If there is then it’s not your question to be answered, is it?
If I have a question that doesn’t have an answer, is that even a question?
What else would it be, Tucker?
I don’t know. Does anyone?
Probably not.
Or is that why we live life?
In search f those answers?
Maybe, but how do we know if we’ve found them if they don’t have an answer?
Or maybe they do have an answer.
But since, it’s not a universal answer, we have nothing to compare our findings to.
Someone told me that only consistent thing in life is change.
Why do we change though?
What makes us love, only to throw it away?
What makes us want to gain what we know we’ll lose?
And conversely, lose what we’ve gained so we can gain something new?
Why are we never contempt with filling our cups of life?
Is it the desire to better ourselves?
It has to be, Tucker.
But when do we know when we have all that we deserve?
We don’t. We can’t. Otherwise it’s like life has been put into our hands.
We would have no passion to get more than what we’re told.
No creativity to work around the adversity that life throws at us.
No motivation to better our current situation.
No will to better our lives.
Tucker, this whole this is stupid.
Why are you even writing this?
You told yourself that it’s not going to teach you anything.
So it can’t teach anyone else anything.
This entire thing is a mockery of poetry, Tucker
Stop this.
But never stop wondering.
There is so much to wonder about.
An infinite number, really.
Infinite isn’t a number though.
It’s an expression.
An expression to say that numbers are never ending.
But how else can we begin to fathom infinity if we didn’t give it a word.
We can’t imagine infinity. We have nothing to try and compare it to.
But by trying to put a label on something that doesn’t exist so that we can try to comprehend it, almost eliminates what was really there in the first place.
It isn’t as pure now.
By placing the word infinity for the fact that it lasts forever, we forget that it really does.
But nothing lasts forever, or so I’m told.
What makes love an exception?
You can ask anyone who is happily married that love lasts forever.
But, at the same time, experts in every field say that nothing lasts forever.
If love is the one thing that lasts forever and stands above all things,
Does that make it the answer?
Is love what drives our desire to better ourselves and those around us?
Is it love that makes us want to become more successful?
Is it love that can ease the pain of loss and death?
Is it the want to love and be loved in return that fuels our universe?
Do the sun, moon, and stars appear in rotation to give us motivation to try and compare what we are feeling to something in the universe?
Do birds sing the melodies that our hearts put forth when we are in love?
Or do we see the beauty in these everyday things because we are in love?
To be continued...
Sunday, January 6, 2008
To be a kid again..
The imagination and mindset of a child is a wonder that no one will ever understand. Yet, it is one of the purest things on this earth. The imagination of a child is so creative, so intuitive, so free, so living, so loving, so involved.
I'm not a religious person, not yet at least. But someone once told me that they believe that angels spoke through the laughter of children and infants. That whenever they are smiling and laughing, you cannot help but smile yourself, no matter what mood you are in. I'm yet to find that untrue. I just wish what these "angels" were/are trying to say...
I only bring this up because today while I was folding napkins at work and thinking about everything that was going on, I wasn't in the best of moods. A family of three came back from dinner and immediately their 5 year old son came walking towards me.
"I have something for you!" he had proclaimed with the proudest smile a kid his age would ever be able to conjure.
"Oh, yeah? Well let's see it!" I couldn't quite figure out what the folded up piece of paper was. But as I opened it, for some god given reason, I couldn't help but start to have tears well up in my eyes.
As I unfolded it, the little boy looked at me with the eyes of a child seeing his living room on Christmas morning. I looked at the paper, and had to hold back a little chuckle. All it was was a child's word find from Bubba's restaurants. You know, one you used to color and stuff while you were waiting for your food.
I looked back at the boy and thanked him and he still had such a pure, golden, proud smile. I finally looked at his parents and asked with my eyes 'Why?' their kid had given me this.
"Because you both have the same name," the told me in unison.
Because we had the same name.
This young boy went out of his way to draw me pictures and try and find words, which he could not. With green crayon the most random letters were circled and squared in no way resembled any of the words he was supposed to find. Yet, in his mind, in his imagination, he did perfectly on this puzzle. He was so proud that he made me this piece of paper. This little boy went out of his way to make this for me. For me! Just because we had the same name...
I really don't know where I'm going with this post. I wish I had a point to this..
All I really know, is that when this boy gave me his word puzzle, I really felt lifted. I don't know if that's what angels do or anything, or if that is a god or higher power talking to me, but I felt lifted. I don't know how else to put it. I don't really know why I wrote this, but I felt compelled to. I know most of this doesn't make any sense.
I don't know why, but this piece of paper will stay with me for a long time...
I don't know...
I'm not a religious person, not yet at least. But someone once told me that they believe that angels spoke through the laughter of children and infants. That whenever they are smiling and laughing, you cannot help but smile yourself, no matter what mood you are in. I'm yet to find that untrue. I just wish what these "angels" were/are trying to say...
I only bring this up because today while I was folding napkins at work and thinking about everything that was going on, I wasn't in the best of moods. A family of three came back from dinner and immediately their 5 year old son came walking towards me.
"I have something for you!" he had proclaimed with the proudest smile a kid his age would ever be able to conjure.
"Oh, yeah? Well let's see it!" I couldn't quite figure out what the folded up piece of paper was. But as I opened it, for some god given reason, I couldn't help but start to have tears well up in my eyes.
As I unfolded it, the little boy looked at me with the eyes of a child seeing his living room on Christmas morning. I looked at the paper, and had to hold back a little chuckle. All it was was a child's word find from Bubba's restaurants. You know, one you used to color and stuff while you were waiting for your food.
I looked back at the boy and thanked him and he still had such a pure, golden, proud smile. I finally looked at his parents and asked with my eyes 'Why?' their kid had given me this.
"Because you both have the same name," the told me in unison.
Because we had the same name.
This young boy went out of his way to draw me pictures and try and find words, which he could not. With green crayon the most random letters were circled and squared in no way resembled any of the words he was supposed to find. Yet, in his mind, in his imagination, he did perfectly on this puzzle. He was so proud that he made me this piece of paper. This little boy went out of his way to make this for me. For me! Just because we had the same name...
I really don't know where I'm going with this post. I wish I had a point to this..
All I really know, is that when this boy gave me his word puzzle, I really felt lifted. I don't know if that's what angels do or anything, or if that is a god or higher power talking to me, but I felt lifted. I don't know how else to put it. I don't really know why I wrote this, but I felt compelled to. I know most of this doesn't make any sense.
I don't know why, but this piece of paper will stay with me for a long time...
I don't know...
Saturday, January 5, 2008
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